How do you train a new puppy?

Answers:
Take classes with a local trainer. Be gentle and still be firm enough that they know whos boss. Reward them only if they do the right thing after you ask them to do that thing 3 times. They will know they were good and will remember it.
Your puppy will be trained in no time!

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It depends on what exactly you are trying to get your puppy to do. Consistance will be the key to anything though. If your trying to get the puppy to sit for instance. Put you hand on its rear end, and push down w/ just enough pressure to make it sit down. You then praise the puppy and give it a treat. Do this over and over again and again. Next step would be to give the dog the verbal command and if you want, a gesture w/ the hand. If the puppy does it, reward, if not, do the same thing you've done earlier. Once you get them to start doing the trick, then you can start weaning them off the treats, maybe do it every other time, and praise them rather then treat them the other times.

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you beat the crap out of him

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1) go to a trainer (i usually recomend petsmart) make sure to go to every class and pay attention! lol, its also very good for your dog to meet new people and get used to wealking around.

2) STICK TO IT! please please when you try to train your dog be CONSISTENT!! if your dog cries at night when you put them in their crate or whatever, dont go and comfort them. sounds mean, but you must. same with greeting. if they jump all over you it may seem reeally cute and adorable but just stand there and dont show any affection and wait until they sit and reward them by pettin them and being all mooshy.

3) say good girl and give treats n stuff every time they go to the bathroom (the right way)

anyway, if you follow these special rules lol your pup will be trained in no time. petsmart teaches simple tricks too like paw, up, roll over.